I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
