Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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