Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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