And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
