I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
