Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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