The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
