Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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