it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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