Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
