Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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