I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
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he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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