i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
