She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
No subtext here. People are naked.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
