I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
