you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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