If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
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My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
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Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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