My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
smell my finger.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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