do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
