There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
