OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
