Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
