Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
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BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
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You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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