The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
