So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
