we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
