She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
