I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
