They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
