all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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