I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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