Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
