Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
