That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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