I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
