I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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