I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
