So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
