I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
