dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Someone came in the potted fern
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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