You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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