After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...