Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
