Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.