she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.