I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon