I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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