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i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
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