Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
