PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
