The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
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