It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Houston, we have a squirter
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
