kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
