I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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