it wasn't lemon gatorade
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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