So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
