I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
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I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
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exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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