Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
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but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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