I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
