i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
