I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We have started to decorate penises.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
