i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
