i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
