If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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