We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
