dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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